Time to look critically

Dear 28

Over the past three terms you have grown so much in your writing. I am so pleased to see how much you are now able to write. The quality of what you have been writing is so much better and you are able to state your points successfully. Now it is time to move on to the next step in your witing.

It is time for you to start looking at your writing with a critical eye. This is not about criricising your work but about looking for errors and correcting them. You need to ask yourself:

Have I used capital letters in the correct places?
Have I used puncuation such as full stops and commas?
Is the tense correct throughout the piece of writing?
Does my writing make sense?

Today we are going to practise looking critically by reading a partner's piece of writing. It is important that when you peer assess that you are honest but positive about the way you present your ideas. Make sure that you write something in each category. Remember we want to help each other improve so your comments are important.

Today's work
1. Read your partner's blog from last week on making a change. (If they were away last Monday then choose another blog they have written)

2. In the comment box of your partner's blog, use the following headings and write a comment under each.

Has the writer used capitals and full stops in the correct place?

Does the writer justify why the person has made a change?

Feedback - What has the writer done well?

Feed forward - What does the writer need to work on for next time?

3. Read the comments that your partner wrote about your blog.

4. For your blog today you may choose any topic that you which to write on. Remember to make sure that you follow the comments that your partner has written. Try to write 150 to 200 words.

Happy writing!

Making a Change

If we look back through history there are many people who have made a difference in the lives of others. They did this by standing up for what they believe in, in some cases by just what they did or who they are.

People like Elvis, Michael Jackson and Madonna used their music as a way to make change. Each was idolised and people soon began to follow the new trend they started with their music. Music lovers around the world started to dress like their idols. Not only a new music trend was born but also a fashion trend as well. Other musicans like Bob Dylan have used their music to protest about things like the Vietnam War.

David Beckham came from a country that is totally into their football. Most people would have a team that they followed at a national level. On his move to the USA, he found a culture that were not so obsessed with football but he managed to still make a change. He is so well known for his football that the amount of kids playing football in the States increased.

Others who made change in a subtle way, are people like Rosa Parks. Rosa lived in time when black and whites were treated differently. They had drinking fountains that said 'whites only' and 'coloureds'. On the bus the people were seperated by the colour of their skin. Rosa refused to be treated badly when the bus driver moved the 'coloureds only' sign further back so she had to stand up. She was thrown off the bus and this began a very famous bus bycott by the Negroes of Montegomery. The bus company's funds were down so badly with no Negroes travelling on the buses they had to start to treat the Negroes better.

Many films have been made about how a single everyday person or a football team have helped change the attitude of people especially realted to the black and white issues in the USA. Films like 'Blindside', 'We are Marshall' and 'Remember the Titans' are based on true stories that have made changes to the lives of others. 'Pay it Forward', though it is not true, is a great way the a small boy at school managed to change the lives of many. If we all tried to help others in some way, we could certainly make a big difference in this world.

Today you have a choice of assignments:

1. Write about someone famous who has made a postive change in the world. It could be through their music, deeds or another way. There are things like BandAid, LiveAid, stars who give and telethons. Write what they did, how they did it and what the outcome of what they did was.

2. Write about if you could make a change in the world what would you do, why would you do it and what change are you hoping to make.

For both assignments you must write at least 150 - 200 words. You are welcome to use the internet for research but your write up must be in your own words. Please remember to edit your work.

Happy writing!

This is your life

Each of us is unique and has many talents to share with others. Today we are going to celebrate your life.

This is your life: Angela Tutty

Born in a small town in New Zealand called Timaru. Your parents, Beverley and Colin, were excited to have a new member in their home. Not so long after that a new addition was added to the family, your brother Simon. The family now complete, life in this small town was just like many others.

Your teenage life was like many others, school, friends, socilising and fun. After school life for you took a more serious turn with you getting a job. The job was at the council and it was to become a very important beginning for you. A special someone was to enter your life but you did not know the importance of this person.

With itchy feet you left the council for the larger pastures of Australia. The life in Oz was good with lots of new friends,things to do and places to go. This part of your life was not to last forever and after a year you returned to NZ.

That special person came back into to your life and the importance of the earlier meeting became more obvious. This special person was Chris who was to become your husband. Marriage and children were the next section of your life.

After the children went to school it was time to think about what was next in your life. You were to study to be a teacher. Your first job was at Mountainview High School. This job was to offer you many exciting opportunities and challenges that ended in successess.

The successes in NZ lead to you travelling again and this time to Singapore. Singapore for you had many wonderful opportunties for your career and personally.

This is all the past but what is the future for you?

Today's blog:
Write a recount of your life as it has been up till now.

You must:
* write in third person (this means as if someone else is telling the story of your life)
* add in your inspirations/dreams for the future
* write at least 150 words

You may include:
* your family details
* funny stories
* any other interesting facts about you